Getcha Popcorn Ready!

When Terrell Owens was an active NFL player, his combination of raw talent and showmanship made him a darling of anyone covering the league.  The fact that he tended to play for the most popular and often most successful teams only enhanced his popularity.   When he was at the zenith of his impact as a member of “America’s Team”, he coined a phrase that has landed him a permanent place in the Urban Dictionary:

getcha popcorn ready
A phrase coined by Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys which signifies that one is about to put on a show, i.e. a spectacular performance. Refers to the act of getting one’s popcorn before watching a movie.
Mind you, just like many movies, especially an awful lot of those made for TV, plenty of Owens’ and even the Cowboys’ games failed to deliver on expectations.  Dallas not only hasn’t won a Super Bowl in almost 30 years, they haven’t even made a conference championship game in that span.  This past January, they were utterly awful in a 48-32 loss to Jordan Love’s Green Bay Packers that was a lot less close than that final score would otherwise indicate.
No matter.  Their Sisyphusian quest for renewed greatness will still command a disproportionate amount of nationally televised NFL games.  As will Aaron Rodgers’ New York Jets, in a make-or-break year for both of them that will hopefully last more than four plays.
All of that and more was revealed with bravado and detail yesterday with the announcement of the official 2024 NFL schedule.  All you really need to know is conveniently right here in one very well-designed graphic.
Individual teams released their schedules with videos that hoped to appeal to potential ticket buyers with the level of creativity not even seen in many movie trailers.  USA TODAY’s Jordan Mendoza conveniently compiled them into one X-tweet-filled article where he conducted his own version of Rotten Tomatoes.  Spoiler alert: deja vu.
But because the majority of us can’t afford the cost of game tickets since refinancing our homes isn’t all that easy these days, it’s the TV schedule that attracts the most attention.  CBS Sports’ Jeff Kerr pointed out a few of those highlights:

The Chiefs kick off the season hosting the Baltimore Ravens on Thursday, Sept. 5 in the NFL Kickoff Game — a rematch of last season’s AFC Championship game.

On Friday, Sept. 6, the Green Bay Packers will face Philadelphia Eagles at Corinthians Arena in São Paulo, Brazil — the first NFL regular season game to be played in South America. This will be the first time the NFL has played a game on Friday of their opening weekend since 1970.  The schedule will be highlighted by three Thanksgiving games (Detroit Lions host Chicago Bears, Dallas Cowboys host New York Giants, and Green Bay Packers hosting Miami Dolphins in the nightcap), a return of the annual Black Friday game (Las Vegas Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs), and two games on Christmas (Kansas City Chiefs at Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens at Houston Texans) — the first games to be broadcast on Netflix. There will also be a Saturday doubleheader on December 21 and a tripleheader on December 28. 

But even the cost of watching these games won’t exactly be cheap. When you factor in the previously announced Netflix Christmas, as well as the cost of having some way to still access the NFL Network, which will have a lock on the European games that will comprise the Sunday morning ET windows on four weekends–games that will include New York area teams as often as the Jacksonville Jaguars, you will need to have a way to watch four broadcast networks, two cable networks and two streaming services.   And if a team other than the more popular choices, or your personal favorite, just happens to be a more attractive option, expect to pay in the neighborhood of $500 for a season of NFL Sunday Ticket, which of course adds YouTube to how and where you will spread your loyalties.

At those prices, you’re gonna need all the popcorn you can get your hands on.  Because even pizza might not be affordable.

Courage…

 

 

 

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